Malaysian Election 2008

So, another general election has come and go. Unless you are a Malaysian stuck in the harsh weather of Antartica (another BN's sponsored expedition?), you should have already known the result. What does the result mean for the the average person in the street? Yes, BN is denied a 2/3 majority in parliament. Yes, the coalition of DAP, PKR & PAS had conquered 5 states in the peninsular. Yes, there was a tremendous swing in votes in favour of the coalition. BUT, how is this beneficial for the people?

In the immediate aftermath of what they labelled as a "political tsunami", the KLSE drops a massive 130+ index points and continues to drop, the leadership at the top remains unchanged, the mainstream medias are still in a state of denial, the price of essential items remains the same etc. Obviously, one wouldn't expect rapid changes but indications are there that the powers that be who are still clinging on to their comfort chairs are still defiant! Therefore, it can be safely assumed that these buggers are what a former Australian PM termed Dr Mahathir as "recalcitrant"!

Believe it, these buggers will continue their sloppy administration, wield their "keris", give remarks that would make George W Bush sounds like Bob Hope and squander public funds. This recalcitrant bunch would make you squirm like a worm, toss in bed like an earthquake, cry like a baby and perhaps the occasional laugh as they perform their Mr Bean antics. No lesson learn, no quarters given. 2/3 majority is not important, son-in-law not in charge, no pressure to resign. Some of the comments PM Badawi made in the aftermath but does he also realise that there is no vote of confidence either?

In the meantime, the Hindraf 5 are still in jail, the Indians are still neglected, the Chinese can't build more temples nor schools, the Malays will not receive the goodies they were promised in NEP and I am still paying RM1.92/litre for petrol. Life goes on I guess. I am however, waiting in anticipation for the coalition to reveal the finances in the 4 new states they conquered. It wont surprise me however if they found nothing!.....meaning there's nothing left in the coffers.

Annoyance & such

As the first post of the year that is 2008, I present to you a list (don't we all love lists) of everything that annoys me. All the stuff in the list represents the almost everyday occurance in Malaysia, so I wont include stuff like Mat Rempit which is as foreign to the rest of the world as having knowledge of how some people manages to fart and burp at the same time. But enough blabbing and let's go to the low down.

1. Supermarket Sample Day

Almost every weekend when you visits your local supermarket (or hypermarket), there will be a lot of promotions inside the market itself. Here one can sample a variety of newly introduced and also some established food products served to you in small cups or in very tiny tidbit size. It is noble (are you sure that's the word? - Ed) of these company to use this kind of method as part of the product's promotion. I use the word "noble" because the way some people approach this is to gorge up all the available food there by taking seconds or thirds not to mention the participation of the whole family! Heck, it's like a picnic to them. I am not complaining that I couldn't get my fair share of the err...meal. But it's ridiculous how some of these people actually waits for promoters to finish cooking or pouring the stuff, gorge it all up and then have the cheek to comment on how the food or drink taste like shit.

2. Weekend Parking

Another thing that is a genuine annoyance to most Klang Valley residents is the unavailability (or rather a lack) of parking space in ALL malls! It's annoying because one have to wake up early Sunday morning and rush to any mall before 11am to get decent parking spaces. After that, it's the survival of the most alert or the most patient.

3. The Emergence of Flea (Street) Markets

I have nothing against this but don't they have anything else to sell besides clothing and more clothing?

4. The Lack of Promotion from Celcom

No, I am not in love with this telco provider but just for the sake of convenience, why don't they organise road shows to promote their mobile broadband? I want to compare their service with that of Maxis but alas, one can only see the latter and Digi competing. Kudos to the Celcom management for being able to keep their company afloat despite the lack of promotion. And no, Giggs and Terry doesn't inform me of anything besides powerful.

5. The Lack of A Real Mobile Phone

Why oh why don't the mobile phone makers er..make a phone that doesn't have a camera built in anymore? I want a decent phone (not those cheapo ones) that doesn't have this function. Do we all really love photography so much so that we can't live without having a camera?

Welcome

As you may have noticed, there hasn't been a new post for nearly a year. Answers on the usual address please.

Sleeping (& snoring)

I love to sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

No civilized person goes to bed the same day he gets up. That's why the amount of sleep required by the average person is about 5 minutes more. The worst thing about sleep is snoring but there's only one sure cure for it - insomnia. There is no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. :)

Glory Glory!!

Praise Buddha! I am back and alive! No, I'm not a reincarnation rather I'll be back blogging again. As I am one of Time magazine persons of the year, I feel it's my duty (ahem) to present to the world how terrible (or good) I can be in blogging. I am still trying to get my way round this Blogger beta thingy. By the way, who the heck put the chick above as cover? (You? - Ed)

Maria Sharapova (Part 2)

It's unbelievable really. She was the first woman I ever featured here in my blog way back in 2004 and to date, that post remains the most popular ever. Apparently something (Google perhaps) pointed surfers from USA, UAE to Taiwan to this particular page. Here I am doing another piece on this lovely talent from Russia as a tribute.

Girl Next Door 2006

Don't really know whether our local version of FHM have this but our neighbour down south have the exact replica of UK's version albeit no nudity. 100 girls handpicked by readers and through SMS voting only one will emerge victorious (but of course - Ed). As we all know (you think? - Ed), KL was voted by expactriates as having the most number of beautiful women, something which we should be really proud of and our neighbour down south gotta admit to that as I only managed to pick 5 girls from the list of 100. Which is rather worrying really as more Singaporean men are marrying Malaysian women (and that's a fact? - Ed). Anyway, enjoy what they have to offer for the moment AND if I may say so, my vote goes to Rachelle Wan.

Rebecca Lim

Rebecca who? She's nobody really at least not in Malaysia. Got hold of a copy of Mobile World Singapore edition and this lovely lady was the front page gal. She looks absolutely gorgeous if I may say so. Well, abot more research (actually it's stated in the mag's article - Ed) reveals that she's actually Miss Photogenic for last year's Miss Singapore/Universe. How she didn't win bewilders me. Anyway, just want her to know, she's got at least one fan here in Malaysia.

Leah Dizon (Part 2)

I just like how she appears on this page the moment you log into this site. She'll be a semi-permanent feature until I find another 'sundal' to replace her that is (hey! no offensive word please - Ed), appearing before my actual err..feature below. No, I haven't join her fanclub yet (You cheapo! - Ed).

If you don't like it, don't drive in KL la!

Sample of some "marvellous" road ettiquttes found in Kuala Lumpur. This happened one fine peak hour morning on a road where a lot of parents uses to send their child to a school. The future of our future generation drivers are secured! Bravo!

Two way road turns to a one way Malaysian style!
Don't like my driving style? Up yours la!
Lorry? What lorry? If dare come and bang kaw me la!

DISCLAIMER : The writer is not responsible if the above driving methods results in prosecution from the relevant authorities. The writer however wish to express his delight that all those who are featured here will probably escape punishment.

How to find your own happiness

A step by step guide to finding your own happiness

1. Spot a golden brown dyed hair Ah Beng anywhere (chances will be he knows where to get the stuff or know someone who does)
2. Get the mobile number of the dealer (always a prepaid) and keep it on your speed dial.
3. Call the bugger and tell him Ah Beng recommended him. (Warning! He might be suspicious of you initially thinking you are some BIB but convince him using some super Ah Beng language)
4. Always ask the price first before asking him to deliver.
5. Don't expect delivery to be made directly to your home. He's not Pizza Hut. Delivery will be made to clubs initially. After a few buys, only then will he deliver straight to your home.
6. Enjoy your happiness.

DISCLAIMER : The writer of this feature does not guarantee you will truly find happiness using the method above nor does he guarantee the effectiveness of the method (especially no.1). The writer also abstain responsibility should you managed to find happiness but decides to sue me for teaching you how to find happiness. For the authorities, I am not trying to promote stuff like what Huai Bin does. He does not own this blog nor do I allow such thing to corrupt my blog.

New Year New Hope

10 days into the new year and here it is my first entry of 2006. I've made a vow to not post anymore travel logs coz it's just too boring. I will up the ante this year! More hardcore journalism is needed to survive nowadays. Yes, something in the mould of KOSMO (the newspaper) generalising anime as animated porn. They are that good. But of course most of you blog nerds would have heard (or read) of Huai Bin being hauled by the authorities for promoting illicit drugs. Kudos to the authorities for spotting that! Actually it wasn't even the authorities who spotted it initially. Yes, hardcore journalism did it! Some eagle-eyed reporter from a chinese daily apparently. Perhaps it was the two dude who got sacked recently. I wasn't sad when Huai Bin was "caught". Heck, he was wrong in posting such nonsense. Us Malaysians needs to be shielded from such evil!! How could he have been so immature and irresponsible? He may give all the excuses he wants justifying his action but mate, you are living in Malaysia. Period. You know the best part? This dude was even commended by some quarters for his excellent work with his blog. How ironic! Yes ladies and gentlemen. This is sixthseal bashing day.

OK..OK...I admit I'm jealous of his success. Heck, maybe I'll video myself shooting one day. That'll guarantee instant fame.

Bagan Lalang/Tanjung Sepat

Bagan Lalang, situated a few kilometres from the town of Sungai Pelek in the district of Sepang, is a viable alternative to the beaches of Port Dickson. Bagan Lalang has a cleaner and wider beach front. Definitely not as crowded or busy as Port Dickson, the beach provides most necessity like public baths, food centre and lots of shady cooling trees. There's even a Seri Malaysia hotel nearby for those who prefer to stay overnight. Quite secluded and if you have nothing to do on a typical weekday, you can practically have the whole beach to yourself while you are relaxing reading a book.

After a day at the beach and when the hunger pang strikes, head over to Tanjung Sepat. There's a number of seafood restaurants and being a fishing village, the catch should be fresh. Don't forget to visit the "Lover's Bridge" (don't have the slightest clue why it's called that as it's more a jetty than anything else). Below the jetty, when it's the low tide, watch out for thousands of tiny crabs!

"Lover's Bridge" (no lover spotted and it's freaking jetty!)

Site of the Day

Subservient Chicken

Just what the heck is the purpose of this website? Can someone enlighten me? This guy(s) have been doing this for years! While not entertaining lewd request, how often has he (or she) been entertaining request like flap your wings or do the moonwalk (which was done rather well in that costume). You definitely have to check this site out and err.. enjoy the chicken I guess.

Revival

Miss me? I certainly hope so! Anyway, there's no excuse this time. Just plain freaking lazy! The aspiration of updating this blog at least twice a week was err..just aspiration. Reality is, I've been putting off this and that but in the end nothing gets done. To those who have commented on some posting, I apologise for not answering. I'm sure I'll get around to doing it soon (yeah right!). Truthfully, there's more comment spam than actual comments. Glad Blogger included the spam filter. OK..no more cock talking and time to get something done to this blog, content wise. When? I'll get around to it don't worry......eventually. To keep you guys occupied, here's a delicious picture for your viewing pleasure. The gals? Errr....how about that little picture of me at the top right corner? :)


LEAH DIZON Soon to be the planet's sexiest woman.

Aquaria KL

You may not be a convention or exhibition 'kaki' but there is a reason to visit the spanking new Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. There is a distinct lack of aquarium in town, in fact there's none unless you count the giant aquarium shop near Shah Alam's Wet World as one. So, every city needs one I guess. One would expect such exhibits to be near some zoo but hey, who's to argue if it's near the vicinity of KLCC. There is an admission charge however and be prepared to be taken aback by its quite steep price. There is an ongoing special "Merdeka" promotion going on however. If you decides to go there during the weekends and school holidays, be prepared to wait as the queue could stretch until the underground tunnel leading into Suria KLCC. Yes, there's a linkage between these two as you would expect.

There are as you would expect lots of different marine life but the main attraction of Aquaria is the underwater world (experience the ocean below without getting wet and in the comfort of air conditioning and err..glasses). Very much comparable to Singapore's version if not better but definitely much better than the one at Langkawi. Star of the err..pond will have to be the Sand Tiger Sharks.

Hazy Shades Of Winter

Alright, it's not exactly winter here. In fact there ain't no such things as winter here. Just thought the title sounds nice and was a hit song by The Bangles if I'm not mistaken. Friends over at Penang and Johor must be laughing at us, the Klang Valley residents. Why not when one can't even see beyond 500 metre (at certain places) with this thick foul haze hovering above and around us. But hey..laugh it up! The wind could change anytime soon! Once again, thanks to our neighbour, we are 'enjoying' this annual haze festival. Only this time it seems worst!! Our leaders refrains and would not utter it but hey...this is a blog and what the fog! What the F**K are you Indonesians going to do about the peat and forest fire in your freaking land??? Don't you know it's affecting my pleasure in smoking cigarettes? Speaking of which, this 'imported' haze is pretty ironic for those who detest second-hand smokes.

Expressway at 6pm and hey you driver up front...your tailgate is missing a light! Can I send this to JPJ? :)

Business Must Be Bad

There just aren't enough dead people nowadays. Business is so bad for this "undertaker" that they'll have to err..unclog your pipes instead.

Movie Review 2

INDEPENDENCE DAY vs WAR OF THE WORLDS

The problem with War Of The Worlds (WOTW) and I suppose with Steven Spielberg was that Independence Day (ID4) preceeds it 9 years ago. I can understand the frustration (if any) for Mr.Spielberg. The storyline for both movie bears uncanny resemblance though it must be mentioned that WOTW is a remake and was written by a famous author. So ultimately the question would be; which of the two is better? I am sure Mr.Spielberg wanted to create WOTW with more or less the same effects as ID4 but couldn't because well...ID4 already exist and it would be foolish to follow the same route. ID4 had the mother of all err..mothership, the graphic and destructive invasion of earth, the aliens, dogfights, catfights AND most important of all, heroes. Spielberg can't re-create the same. He needed new directions. So he went for a more human touch and responses minus elaborate effects of destructions and battles. It's not that WOTW doesn't have its own heroes and special effects but the end of WOTW was very subdued. And very brief while we are at that! You wouldn't jump for joy when the invaders are finally defeated. ID4 had that. From the President's speech to the pilots before the ultimate showdown to the eventual destruction of the aliens, you could have joined in the celebration when you first watched ID4. OK, so the ending was a bit dodgy. Debated till this day was how the earth's computer OS (a Mac in this instance) is compatible with the aliens. Well, without spoiling it for those who haven't watched WOTW, the end of WOTW aren't that convincing either if I may say the least.

It must be said that at the present day, special effects doesn't surprise the viewers any longer. It won't have the same effect as when the first Star Wars came out nor when the liquid terminator made his appearance in Terminator 2 nor when the first dinosaur appeared in Jurassic Park and even to a certain extent, when the err..mother of all mothership appeared in ID4. Mr.Spielberg perhaps realized this and that was why the only alien craft you will see in WOTW is the err..tripods. So, is WOTW a complete failure and unwatchable? Not necessarily despite the absence of a plot. It has its own highlights (especially the basement scenes), irritating teenager and err..aliens who likes to snoop at people's stuffs. But this is definitely not a classic Spielberg film eventhough Tom Cruise gave one of his best performance. Dakota Fanning was excellent too.

Rating : ***

THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
This is the fun movie of the summer! Staying with science fiction, this have all the makings of a perfect comedy. A homeless man, intelligent dolphins, a "kidnapped" president of the galaxy, damsel in distress, talking mice and perhaps the funniest of all characters, a suicidal depressive robot. Lots of British humour and since the demise of the Monty Python series, I guess this is the next best thing.
Another reason to watch this movie is Zooey Deschanel, a relatively unknown actress. OK, so John Malkovich is also in the film but Zooey, to me, is a breath of fresh air.

Rating : ****

Malaysia 101

Excerpt from The Star 2nd July 2005

Eye-opening trip to US

BY SALMY HASHIM
WASHINGTON: Three Malaysian teenagers, who spent six months in small American towns, now have a kinder perception of the United States but blame the media for their negative portrayal of Muslim countries and America.

The three are among 30 Malaysian students who were selected to live and study in the US from January to June.

Guruparan Dharmalingam from Kuala Lumpur said media from both sides were to blame for the negative coverage, which had created hatred and fear.

Guruparan said he was shocked at the ignorance of Americans he met in Hueytown, Alabama.

“They don't know where Malaysia is, they have not heard about Islam, and they thought that I was an Iraqi.”

His classmates were impressed when he showed them pictures of Malaysia as “they thought we live in mud huts or on trees!”

For the benefit of any international viewers of this blog (especially Americans), here's a quick concise guide to what is MALAYSIA.

Location of Malaysia. Note that Malaysia is NOWHERE near Africa. Not to be confused with the country Mauritius or Malawi either.

View of Kuala Lumpur's (Malaysia's capital city) skyline at night.

OK..so the thing about us Malaysian living in mud huts and tress aren't entirely untrue. There are people here who lives at such places namely the Orang Asli (aboriginal people). Just as the Red Indians of North America, some Orang Asli retains the lifestyle of their forefathers. Put it this way, if us Malaysians are ignorant enough, we would have believed that Red Indians lives in some oversized ice cream cones. The Orang Asli here in Malaysia are colourful and unique, making them and the places where they stay a major tourist attraction.

It's understandable that not all Americans are ignorant of the facts of other countries around the world. After all, no one expects someone from Hueytown, Alabama to know such facts when there is no need to. Just as one wouldn't expect someone from say Grik (a town in Malaysia) to know about Burkina Faso (an actual country in Africa). The USA is a major power in the world; Malaysia is but a small player in the international scene and it's alright if someone from Alabama doesn't know about our existence. We shouldn't make a fuss about this apparent innocent ignorance but at the same time, both side would benefit from closer co-operation and more education. Here's my small part in helping to foster that.

Further Reads

1. Visit Malaysia
2. World Map & Facts
3. Malaysian Almanac